You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what you want to talk about, where to begin or how to explain what you are feeling. We can begin with what is happening now and understand more as the work develops.
At the beginning, we will consider what has brought you to therapy, what life is like now and what you would like to be different. You can tell me what you know, what you are unsure about and what you do not yet have words for.
There is no requirement to provide your whole history in the first conversation. Something apparently small may turn out to matter, while something that seemed central may look different once we understand more of the life around it.
Therapy can have direction without demanding that you already know the destination.
As we work together, things may begin to connect. We may notice patterns in relationships, feelings or behaviour, beliefs about yourself or other people, or differences between what you think, feel and do.
A way of coping may once have protected you, helped you remain connected to someone important or made a difficult situation bearable. Understanding why it became necessary does not mean that you must keep living by it.
Sometimes I will listen and give something time. At other times I may ask a question, make an observation, point out a contradiction or suggest that we stay with something rather than move away from it.
I will not decide what is right for you, and I will not assume that my first understanding is correct. We can examine an idea together, including the possibility that I have misunderstood you.
There may be times when something I say does not sit right, you disagree with me, I misunderstand you or you feel the therapy is not helping. I would want us to be able to talk about that.
Difficult moments do not necessarily mean therapy has gone wrong. They can help us understand what happened between us and, sometimes, illuminate what becomes difficult in other relationships.
You do not have to agree with me for therapy to work. The purpose is not to produce a particular feeling in every session, but to understand more fully what is happening and create more choice in how you respond.
The work develops between us, but it remains your therapy.
The terms can overlap, and one is not a more advanced or valuable version of the other. Counselling may focus on a particular difficulty or period of life. Psychotherapy often allows more time to explore longstanding patterns, relationships and how earlier experience may remain present now.
In practice, the work should reflect what you need rather than forcing your experience into a category. You do not need to diagnose which kind of therapy you require before contacting me. We can discuss what has brought you, what you hope for and whether the way I work feels appropriate.
Some people come with something relatively focused. Other difficulties may need more time. We can review the work together rather than deciding its whole course at the beginning.
A free 15-minute introductory conversation gives you an opportunity to ask questions and get a sense of whether we may work well together. You do not need to commit to therapy before we speak.
Check current availability