Further reading
Understanding your experiences.
You may find something here that helps you put words to your experience. There is no need to read anything before coming to therapy.
Understanding what you are experiencing
Experiences you may recognise.
The information below is general background, not an assessment or a promise of a particular treatment. Sources are linked in each section.
Low mood and depressionWhen feeling low, empty or exhausted starts to affect everyday life.
What it can feel like
Depression can affect your mood, body and ability to manage everyday tasks. You might lose interest in things you usually enjoy, feel hopeless or find it hard to get going. Sleep, appetite, energy and concentration can change too. You do not have to feel tearful all the time to be struggling.
Why it happens
There is no single cause. Loss, relationship difficulties, illness, stress and family history can all play a part. Sometimes there is no obvious trigger. Depression is not a personal failing, and recovery is possible with the right support.
What may help
If symptoms last most days for two weeks or more, or affect your ability to cope, speak to your GP. You can seek help sooner if you are worried. A GP can assess what is happening and consider physical health factors as well as your mood.
Treatment that fits you
Treatment should reflect your needs and preferences. Options include guided self-help, talking therapies and medication. Antidepressants are not usually the first treatment offered for less severe depression unless that is your informed preference. More severe depression may need more intensive or combined support.
How relationships can matter
Interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) explores the link between depression and what is happening in your relationships, such as loss, conflict or changes in your life. Behavioural activation is another approach: it helps you rebuild activities and connections when depression has led you to withdraw.
Anxiety and overthinkingWhen worry is difficult to switch off, even when you want to rest.
More than thoughts
Anxiety can involve racing worries, poor sleep, irritability, tense muscles, stomach discomfort or a pounding heart. Feeling anxious sometimes is normal. It becomes a concern when it is persistent, hard to manage or interferes with everyday life. Anxiety takes different forms; not all anxiety is generalised anxiety disorder.
Small steps and support
Regular meals, sleep routines, gentle activity and reducing caffeine may help. Talking to someone you trust can make worries feel less isolating. These steps support your wellbeing; you do not have to manage everything on your own.
When to ask for help
A GP can assess persistent anxiety and discuss options, including cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and, where appropriate, medication. Adults in England can also self-refer to NHS Talking Therapies. New or worrying physical symptoms should be assessed rather than assumed to be anxiety.
Trauma and feeling unsafeWhen an overwhelming experience continues to affect how you feel now.
Responses can look different
After a frightening or overwhelming experience, you might feel constantly on guard, numb, easily startled or disconnected. Sleep and concentration can suffer. Memories or reminders may bring back intense feelings, and trusting people can become difficult. Responses vary from person to person.
Trauma and PTSD
Experiencing trauma does not automatically mean you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD can involve flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance and feeling under threat after the event. Complex PTSD can also involve difficulties managing emotions, a strongly negative view of yourself and relationship difficulties.
Finding suitable support
If symptoms persist or seriously affect daily life, ask your GP for an assessment. Recommended treatments for PTSD include trauma-focused CBT and eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR), delivered by appropriately trained practitioners. The right support depends on your needs. You can ask about a therapist’s training and approach before deciding whether to work with them.
Difficulties in relationshipsArguments, distance, unmet needs or patterns you keep finding yourself in.
Understanding what happens between people
Difficulties can arise with a partner, family member, friend or colleague. You may feel unheard, struggle to express your needs, avoid disagreements or find the same argument repeating. Stress and major life changes can put extra pressure on relationships.
What may help
Where it feels safe, choose a calmer time to talk, describe your own experience and check you have understood the other person. Boundaries help you make clear what is acceptable and what you need. Counselling can help you notice patterns and consider your choices.
Individual support at TalkWise
You can explore relationship difficulties in individual therapy without the other person attending. TalkWise offers individual therapy for adults, rather than couples therapy.
When safety comes first
Threats, coercion, control or violence are not simply communication problems. Abuse is never your fault. Specialist support can help you consider your safety and options.
Separation and relationship breakdownMaking sense of an ending and the changes that follow.
An ending can bring grief
A break-up can mean losing companionship, routines and the future you imagined. You may feel sadness, anger, guilt, relief or several feelings at once. Grief is personal, and feelings do not have to follow a set order or timetable.
Getting through the next few days
Try to keep some simple routines, eat regularly and stay in touch with supportive people. Focus on a manageable next step rather than solving everything at once. If contact with an ex-partner is needed, clear practical boundaries may help where it is safe to communicate.
Space to work out what you need
Individual counselling can offer room to explore the loss, understand what the relationship meant to you and consider what you want next. Seek additional support if distress is overwhelming or you are struggling to manage daily life.
Attachment: closeness, trust and distanceUnderstanding how you respond when a relationship feels uncertain.
What attachment theory means
Attachment theory began with John Bowlby’s work on children’s need for reliable care. Adult attachment research explores how we seek comfort, trust others and respond to distance in close relationships. Early experiences may influence these expectations, but they do not explain everything.
Patterns you might recognise
Some people feel comfortable with both closeness and independence. Others look for repeated reassurance or fear being left. Some find relying on people uncomfortable and pull away. You can also want closeness while feeling afraid of it. Researchers often describe these patterns in terms of attachment anxiety and avoidance, rather than separate boxes.
A way to understand, not a label
Attachment styles are not medical diagnoses or a verdict on your future. Patterns can change, although lasting change varies between people. Exploring what happens when you feel rejected, overwhelmed or uncertain may help you understand your needs and responses. Attachment theory never excuses hurtful or abusive behaviour.
Does something here feel familiar?
We can explore it together, in your own words and at your pace.
Get in touch